Consider whether your loved one has difficulty managing basic activities, such as feeding themselves, moving around their home, getting dressed, or taking care of their hygiene. If so, they may need home support from you or a professional caregiver. If they are still able to do most of their basic daily activities without help, you may only need to provide occasional support. For example, you might offer to come over once a week to help with errands or household chores.
For example, you might say, “It seems like you’re having some trouble keeping up with the housework these days, Dad. Do you think it would help if I came over every couple of days to help out?” Listen actively to anything they have to say about their needs or their feelings about the care options you are considering. If they have any objections, hear them out completely without being dismissive or minimizing their concerns.
Grab bars or railings installed in bathrooms, hallways, and other living areas Shower seats or elevated toilet seats Ramps or stair climbers Non-slip surfaces on stairs, on floors, and in showers Improved lighting in dim areas of the home Anti-scalding devices in showers and sinks
Talk to their doctor or a physical therapist about what types and amount of physical activity they can do safely. For example, if your loved one has osteoarthritis, they may need to stick to gentle, joint-friendly activities such as swimming, stationary cycling, or light yoga. Those who are unable to exercise independently can still benefit from being active. Passive Range of Motion (ROM) exercises can help elderly people maintain joint mobility, for example. These exercises involve moving the person’s limbs for them to help limber up their joints. Ask a doctor or physical therapist to show you how to do these exercises correctly. [4] X Research source Look for enjoyable activities that you can do together, like going on nature walks or working in the garden.
Familiarize yourself with any medications they take so that you can be aware of possible interactions or side effects. If they have trouble remembering to take their medications, look for ways to help them stay organized, such as using a pill sorter or calling regularly to remind them. [6] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source Watch for common warning signs of a possible health problem, such as forgetfulness or confusion, falling or lack of coordination, weight loss or changes in appetite, or changes in mood or behavior. Emotional problems are also common in older adults. Look out for signs of depression or anxiety, such as irritability, sadness, lack of energy, or loss of interest in things they used to enjoy.
If they don’t have much of a social network, you might suggest taking classes or participating in other activities where they can meet people, such as dances or book club meetings. Many older people benefit from spending time with their grandchildren. If you’re caring for an elderly parent and you have kids, try asking them to babysit or do other fun activities with the children, like playing board games or reading books.
For example, you might sit down with them once a week to write up a grocery list, then go to the store and get what they need. If they have a hard time driving, offer to give them rides to medical appointments, the store, or other places they need to go regularly.
For example, if they want to continue living at home but can’t afford their current rent or mortgage, you might discuss helping them find a smaller apartment or condo that fits within their budget. They may also qualify for government assistance programs to help them cover costs such as heating bills or prescription medications.
“How long will they need to be hospitalized?” “What are the treatment options for their condition?” “What are the risks and benefits of this treatment?” “What are you doing to manage their pain and discomfort?” “What’s the recovery period going to be like?”
For example, if you know that they want to avoid surgery, ask their doctor about less invasive treatment options. Try to have a discussion with your loved one about their wishes while they’re well so that you know what to do in case they have to be hospitalized.
Make sure they are receiving their medications in a timely manner. Follow up on the results of medical tests. Talk to different members of their care team to make sure everyone is on the same page about their treatment plan. Ask for clarification if you or your loved one don’t understand any aspect of their treatment.
Make sure they are receiving their medications in a timely manner. Follow up on the results of medical tests. Talk to different members of their care team to make sure everyone is on the same page about their treatment plan. Ask for clarification if you or your loved one don’t understand any aspect of their treatment.
Warm, comfortable clothing, such as a few loose-fitting sweaters and soft sweatpants Non-skid socks or slippers Personal care items and toiletries, such as their hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, glasses case, or dentures A soft, comfortable pillow A list of their medications Entertainment items, like some favorite books, magazines, or DVDs A few homey items, such as a framed photograph, a vase of flowers, or their favorite bathrobe
Encourage other family members and friends to visit as well. Not only will this help your loved one feel supported and cared for, but it will also take some of the pressure off of you.
Keep track of any critical documents you receive related to your loved one’s hospital stay, such as bills, care and discharge instructions, and explanation of benefits statements.
Dosage and timing instructions for any medications they need to take Any special home care techniques you may need to know, such as changing wound dressings, caring for feeding tubes or catheters, or moving your loved one safely from one location to another in the home Numbers to call in case you have questions or concerns about their condition after discharge Information about what to expect during the recovery period
You can also contact your loved one’s insurance company or your local health and human services office to find out about providers in your area and how to cover associated expenses. If your relative needs help with daily activities but doesn’t need around-the-clock medical care, look into hiring an in-home care provider who can help them with things like housecleaning, cooking, dressing, and bathing. This can be a great help if you don’t have the time or resources to assist your loved one throughout the day.
People with a lot of medical issues can benefit from staying in a nursing home, which has nurses and doctors on staff. Alternatively, if your loved one needs help with daily activities but doesn’t need daily nursing care, an assisted living facility may be a good option. If you live in the U. S. , you can use LeadingAge’s member directory to find reputable elder care facilities and services in your area. [19] X Research source When choosing a facility, talk to the staff as well as the residents if possible to get a sense of what services they provide and whether the facility will meet your loved one’s needs. [20] X Research source
If you live in the U. S. , visit https://www. benefitscheckup. org to find benefits that your loved one may qualify for. You may also be eligible for tax benefits if you are caring for an elderly relative.
Your local government website may have information about resources and services available to elders in your area. Do a search using terms like “resources for seniors near me. ”
The AARP’s Community Resource Finder: https://www. communityresourcefinder. org The Eldercare Locator: https://eldercare. acl. gov
The Aging Life Care Association is an organization for professional geriatric care managers. They can help you connect with someone who can advise you on care options for your loved one. Use their member database to find professionals in your area. [25] X Research source
Sit down with them when you are both calm and relaxed to have an open and honest conversation about their needs. If necessary, bring in other family members to talk to them as well. If you have support from the rest of your family, it may be easier to convince your relative that they need the extra help. It may also help to get input from their doctor. Once you come up with a care strategy, try suggesting a trial run. Your loved one may be more willing to accept your care if they understand that the arrangement isn’t set in stone and can be changed if it isn’t working for them.
For example, if they have difficulty hearing you, talk to their doctor about whether hearing aids might help. You could also look into sign language training programs for you and your loved one if they have profound hearing loss. If your loved one has difficulty speaking, ask their doctor to recommend a speech-language pathologist who can work with them on developing new communication skills. Doctors and other healthcare specialists who are experienced in working with elderly patients may have special training in dealing with communication issues. [27] X Research source
For example, you might ask one of your siblings if they can take turns helping out with grocery shopping or household chores. Sometimes it can also be helpful to have someone to vent to. Even if a friend or relative can’t offer practical support, they might be able to lend a sympathetic ear when you need it. When asking for help, keep that person’s specific skills and resources in mind. For example, if your aunt loves to cook, you could ask her to help prepare meals from your grandmother occasionally.
If you’re having trouble finding the time to care for yourself, ask a relative or friend to step in for a while so you can get a break. For example, you might ask your brother to stay with your mom for the evening so you can go out with friends. If you need a longer break, you may be able to find respite care services in your area. If you can’t afford to pay for respite care, do a search for community-based volunteer groups near you. [30] X Research source
