Find reasons to put yourself in contact with other people. The more times you do this, the more likely that you will interact with others, and the more likely those interactions will be meaningful. [2] X Research source Go out. Go to a coffee shop, Take a trip. Attend a concert or play. Find meet-ups. Find groups in your community that share your values and interests and go to events they host. Meetup. com is a great resource for this, but there are others you can find through a brief online search. Be available. Make yourself say “yes” to invitations from acquaintances, coworkers, family, and friends. This can be as simple as lunch on a Friday, to camping on the weekend, to attending a child’s dance recital. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been invited to. Provided it doesn’t interfere with necessary weekly responsibilities, just say “yes. "
Learn about another culture or religion by attention a service at a worship center. Volunteer in your community to help individuals with disabilities or special needs. Travel to other countries and practice local customs when possible and respectful to do so. Watch documentaries that introduce you to different cultures and parts of the world. [4] X Research source
Spend quality time together engaging in meaningful activities. For example, go on a walk, visit a museum, or just sit and have a conversation.
If you can’t be accountable for your actions and try to blame your mistakes on others, it will be hard for people to trust you. Admit your mistakes and apologize sincerely. Be reliable by following through with your promises. This can be as simple as showing up to hang out with your friend when you said you would or completing a work project by the agreed-upon deadline. [7] X Research source Show other people that when you say you’ll do something, they can trust that you will do it. Say what you mean and do what you say. [8] X Research source Don’t tell someone you will keep a secret and then share it with someone else. Your behaviors and words should match up. Remember that this is a gradual process — you need to earn a person’s trust, especially if they have been burned in the past. [9] X Research source
One instance in which can be difficult to show kindness is during conflict. Instead of blaming, yelling, calling the person names or exploiting their insecurities, choose instead to express why you are hurt and angry. [11] X Research source
Be assertive. Assertiveness is about talking about your thoughts and feelings in appropriate and respectful ways. Be honest. Be transparent with people about who you are. People can sense honesty, and it encourages them to trust you in return. Additionally, beginning a relationship with lies means those lies have to be maintained thence forth, and increases the risk of the lie being exposed, compromising the relationship. [12] X Research source Ask open-ended questions. Get people to talk about themselves. Not only does this enable sharing, trust and intimacy, but it helps you guide the conversation toward topics that are comfortable for you. [13] X Research source
Maintain eye contact: This doesn’t mean staring, but it does mean focusing your attention on the companion as opposed to your phone or a person across the room. Maintain appropriate body language: Your body language can help reinforce confidence in your companion. Don’t fidget or check your watch. Nod when the other person makes a relevant point. Don’t interrupt: Let the other person finish before asking “May I ask/add something?” You can, however, show that you are listening by nodding and making affirming noises, like “Uh-huh,” or saying something like, “I see. " Keep an open-mind: Don’t let fear or bias guide your communication. Demonstrate that you respect the other person, in spite of points on which you do not agree.
In order to appear confident in non-verbal communication, try to speak at a normal rate (not too fast or too slow), make frequent eye-contact (but don’t stare, look away sometimes), avoid shaking your legs or fidgeting, and try to keep an open presentation (e. g. no arm crossing). [15] X Research source
Avoid aggressive body language (such as pointing in someone’s face, standing too close, rolling your eyes, etc. ) or language. Ask questions and present views fairly. Refuse to name call or resort to character attacks. Always remind the other person that you respect his views and the right to have them.
Practice empathy, not sympathy: Sympathy is a feeling a sadness inspired when we hear someone else’s pain and focus on our own similar tragedies. Empathy keeps the focus on the other person, attempting to listen to and feel her pain, unique from your own.
Offer compassion to those who have mistreated you: Perhaps the hardest act of compassion is to someone we are tempted to believe does not deserve it. The best thing to do is to put yourself in the other person’s positions and imagine what events they have gone through that have produced the anger and pain they inflict on others. Allow yourself to feel empathy for that pain, and channel it into kindness and tolerance for that person. Focus on common ground: People are more alike than different. We all thrive on similar things — love, trust, support, belonging. Just because these desires may manifest outwardly in unique ways does not mean that we are unalike. When you find yourself dwelling on difference, try to shift your focus back to similarities by reminding yourself that, like you, this person is seeking happiness, known suffering, seeks safety, and is still learning about the world.
Offer acts of kindness. For example, you babysit for free when a neighbor needs a night off from the kids, help a friend move, tutor your little sister in math. Do these things with no expectation of payment or reciprocity — do it simply as a kindness. Do something nice for others. You could give a gift or words of encouragement. Show support by lending a helping hand or offering to assist in some way. [19] X Research source Share responsibilities in roommate or shared housing situations (such as cleaning and paying bills, etc).
For instance, being aware of things that set you off can keep you from overreacting. Perhaps you felt that your father didn’t listen to you when you tried to talk to him, and now you know that you tend to lose your cool when you someone doesn’t answer your question right away. If you are aware of this tendency, you can stop yourself before you snap at the person, reminding yourself, “I’m getting upset because this reminds me of Dad. Susan may be formulating a response, or she simply may not have heard me. There is no need to overreact. " Then you avoid blowing up at Susan and possibly damaging your relationship with her.
Who am I? What do I love? What would you tell your older self?
Decide where it will begin and end. It doesn’t have to start with birth. Make a preliminary list of events that need to be included. This should be based on what you perceive as meaningful and valuable. Include a title. Come up with something more detailed than, “My life. ” The title should both guide how the timeline is read and reflect the values inherent in it’s creation.
Physiological security: food, shelter, warmth, air Safety: Protection from harm or threat Belonging: Inclusion in a group, love, the freedom to take what is needed and give unselfishly. Self-Esteem: Positive self-image “Being”: the ability to explore abstract creative impulses and fulfill personal meaning.
