Being friendly with a variety of people expands your social circle greatly and provides opportunities to attend all sorts of different events. This leads to meeting even more new people! Put yourself out there and you will see results.
Participate in class. Join or start a club. Run for student council. Put yourself in situations that cause other people to notice you and they will. Being in the spotlight provides plenty of opportunities for interaction with others and can introduce you to entirely new groups of people.
Don’t just wander up to random tables for no reason, of course! Have reasons to initiate conversations and then stick around for a chat or short, light-hearted exchange with their group if it feels natural to do so. A reason for approaching a group can be as simple as asking one of them about a homework assignment. Don’t make it complicated, and keep the exchange casual. Don’t stick around longer than a few minutes and definitely make a quick exit if any awkward silences ensue.
Whenever you get an invitation from someone to hang out or go to a particular event, make every effort to do so. You can’t say yes to every invitation all the time, but if it’s feasible, get out there and socialize!
When you are in conversation with someone, sprinkle their first name in a few times. Do it smoothly and simply. Saying things like, “Hi, Erin! Did you do today’s reading assignment?” and “Michael, what do think about the new history teacher?” Using someone’s name is one of the very easiest ways to get someone’s attention and it makes them feel respected and remembered. Use the name that someone gives you, not a nickname. For instance, if someone introduced himself as “Robert” don’t call him Rob or Bob unless he invites you to. Don’t avoid saying someone’s name because you are unsure of the pronunciation. Instead, just go for it and say, “Please let me know if I’m not pronouncing that right. ”
Get in the habit of noticing the small things about others and pointing those things out rather than delivering vague compliments. If you can, combine a compliment with a question, which will get a conversation started. Instead of, “You look really pretty today, Jennifer” try something more specific like, “Your hair looks so good today! How do you get it like that?” or “I love that shade of lipstick, where did you get it?”
For instance, perhaps someone you’d like to get to know better is talking before class about not understanding last night’s algebra homework. Join in the conversation by saying something like, “I didn’t understand it either! I’m definitely going to ask the teacher about it today,” or something to that effect.
Smile, nod, and ask a simple question every now and then to show that person that you’re listening to them. By making yourself available and open to listening to what they have to say, they will feel closer to you. Sometimes people just need to be heard.
Practicing your intro in your head is definitely helpful, but you must practice it on actual people to get it to really stick. If you want to approach someone but you don’t feel prepared, go home that night and think about what you want to say, and try it the next day.
Walking up to someone with a blank or scared expression on your face is not a good introduction, and can make that person feel apprehensive about what you’re about to say to them. If you approach someone with a relaxed demeanor and easy smile, they will want to know what you’re about to say.
It will take a little practice, but once you start making it a point to keep your body language relaxed and confident, it will start to become second nature to you.
“Like” their status or a picture that they post. If they post an article, link, song or anything else that you find genuinely interesting, share it on your wall or repost it. Pay attention to what the person is into – then you can approach them and talk about that band you both like, or the movie that you both want to see. Really strive to keep interactions on social media natural and simple. Interactions online can get distorted without the aid of a facial expression and tone of voice for interpretation, so avoid heavy topics and excessive comments. If it feels natural to do so, use social media as a tool to plan a hang-out session. If someone posts a video by a band that you like, you could approach them and say, “I saw that you like such-and-such band, too! Are you going to their concert this weekend?” Shared interests are the foundation to almost every friendship.
When you are contemplating making a major life change, you are going to feel a little vulnerable and experience some self-doubt at first. [2] X Research source This is normal! Make a list of all the reasons why you want to expand your social circle and revisit it when you are feeling less than confident. Put “what if” scenarios out of your mind. No one knows the future, so you’re just wasting time when you fret over negative “what if” thought patterns.
You don’t have to be the life of the party at this stage! You are adjusting. Focus on that triumphant feeling you get when you go out and do something new. Bring along a friend if that makes it easier for you to go to new places, especially at first. It will make it a little easier for you to transition into a different frame of mind, and you’ll have someone to talk to during those inevitable awkward moments when you are first starting out.
Write down your goals for the week and cross them off your list as you accomplish them. This will help you focus on what you need to do and give you a sense of progress and achievement. Start with something easy and keep a comfortable pace. Just take one small step at a time. Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t meet all of your goals in any particular week. No one is keeping score. If you set a goal that you can’t seem to accomplish at first, try breaking it down into smaller parts that are easier to achieve. For example, if your goal is to get invited to a particular party or event and it doesn’t happen right away, try simplifying. Make it your new goal to chat with the host of the party at lunch that week and start saying hello in the hallways between your classes.
Do other things that make you feel good, like blasting your favorite song on the way to school. Eat a good breakfast so that you’re ready to face the day.
Maybe you are quiet and you like to read. Instead of letting that hold you back from socializing, use it to put yourself in situations where you can socialize about books! For instance, you could join (or even start) a book club at school. If you’re reading something cool in English class, take notice of who’s participating in class, sit by them and start chatting about the book. It’s much easier to talk to people and make new friends when you are talking about something that really interests you.
Focus on ways to reach out to new people and broadening your horizons and you’ll find that the rest will start to naturally unfold.
