Once you discover what makes you happy, try spending more time on those activities and practices.

Talking through your fears with your friends or a therapist can also help you identify the causes of your self-doubt. Try writing in a journal when you feel anxious. Whenever you are feeling bad about yourself, write it down. Not only will it make you feel better but you can reflect on your entries later to figure out the source of your insecurities.

Are your basic needs (food, water, shelter) being met? Do feel safe in your current relationships or in your physical location? Do you feel loved by those around you? Do you feel as though what you do matters? Are you fulfilled by your job/social life/school? Do you have a creative outlet?

Realistic means that the dream is reasonable and can be achieved. If you’ve never played golf before, it might not be realistic that you will become a famous golfer, but it may be realistic that you can learn how to play. Positive means that the goals are good things that will happen to you. Erase any negativity from your dream list. Affirmation will put you further than doubt and uncertainty will. The goal should be about yourself, not other people. Instead of saying, “I want my boss to like me more,” try framing it as “I want to become more assertive and responsible in the workplace. "

Your tasks on your schedule should be specific and easy to achieve. Instead of writing, “Become less shy by Tuesday,” write “talk to three strangers today” or “rehearse small talk for five minutes in front of the mirror. ”

Choose a good time to try to break a habit. It might be easier to try to break a bad habit while you are on vacation. [11] X Research source Although it might not be possible to wait to break a habit until you go on vacation, you might at least want to choose a time when you are not too stressed to work on breaking a bad habit. Try to be patient. Keep in mind that it can take anywhere from 18 to 66 days to break a habit. Don’t become discouraged if you find it difficult to break the habit at first. Remember to reward yourself. If you’ve had a great day where you did really well in your new habits and routines, praise yourself and give yourself a reward. Maybe eat a bowl of ice cream or go see a movie. Little rewards can affirm your progress, and they teach your brain to associate these new routines with pleasure. [12] X Research source

If your friends tell you that you don’t need to change, try not to listen to them. They may have good intentions, but if you are unhappy with your current state of being, such advice can be discouraging. Thank them for their concern, but emphasize that this is something you want to continue. True friends will remain with you through the journey.

Simply say something like, “I was unhappy before, and I am working towards being a better person. " You can also say, “Thank you for your concern. No matter who I become, I will always love you. " If you have a friend or loved one who still bothers you about the changes you are making, then you may want to take some time away from the person.