For instance, instead of demanding in a rude tone, “Get me some juice!” you could say, “Would you mind getting me some juice, please?”
For instance, you could say, “I feel disrespected when I don’t get much time in the bathroom because then I don’t have enough time to get ready. I feel unprepared for the day. “[5] X Research source Using “I” helps soften the tone. It helps the other person understand why you’re upset. Pointing fingers often just makes them get defensive.
Truly listening means actually considering what the person has to say. Don’t just sit there thinking up arguments against it. [10] X Research source
This step also includes being willing to admit you’ve made a mistake. Sometimes you make a mistake, and you need to apologize. For instance, you could say, “I realize now that I was wrong. I truly apologize for the mistake I made. "
Knowing each others’ love languages will help you express love towards one another. For instance, one love language is words of affirmation, where a person needs verbal encouragement to feel loved. Another is acts of service, where a person feels loved if another person does something for her. The third love language is receiving gifts; small presents make this type of person feel loved. The fourth is quality time, where spending time together makes a person feel loved. The final one is physical touch; love is expressed through hugs, kisses, and affectionate touches.
Try to be specific about your praise. For instance, when your child asks politely if she can be excused instead of jumping up from the table, you can say, “Thank you for asking so nicely and using your manners. " Also, remember to offer encouragement for the hard work they put in, not just the finished product. For instance, no matter whether your kid wins or loses a tennis match, you can say that you are proud of her for putting in the hard work. [15] X Research source
Remind your child that occasionally, you or her doctor may need to examine her body to make sure she’s still healthy. [17] X Research source Many children will start wanting privacy in elementary school. However, if your child seems to be very embarrassed about her body, you might want to make sure everything is fine with her, as that can be a sign of sexual abuse. [18] X Research source
Plan ahead, and tell your child the boundary in no uncertain terms. That is, you need to already know what rule you are going to enforce before you enforce it, and your kid needs to know she doesn’t have any wiggle room. For instance, use a statement instead of a question: say “Please clean up your room before you go outside,” not “Can you please clean up your room before you go outside?” That doesn’t mean that you have to be use a harsh tone; in fact, a neutral is better because it won’t scare your kids. [20] X Research source Don’t be afraid to use humor to encourage cooperativeness. Kids love silly voices and jokes, so try making the fork dance when you want her to eat or making her toothbrush talk to her. [21] X Research source
For your kids, you can also help them talk about their feelings. One way to do that is to use visuals, such as a printout of different emotion faces. Have the child point to what they’re feeling and then have them talk about how that relates to the situation. You could ask a question such as, “What are you feeling right now? Can you point to the face that shows what you’re feeling? What made you feel that way?”
