It also requires you to think about what the other person is thinking and how he or she acts while talking. It demands focus and being mindful of and present in the conversation by paying close attention to cues from the other person and providing feedback relevant to the discussion.
This leaves a lot of room for error in understanding what another person means. [2] X Research source Instead of trying to process everything at once, break down a complex situation into smaller parts. Go through each piece of information one at a time. [3] X Expert Source Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MACLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 22 July 2021.
Focus your attention, shut out distractions and listen closely to what’s said. You cannot assess a statement’s logic or the speaker’s true intentions if you’re unfocused. Respond to what’s said so the speaker feels heard and believes you understand what he or she is saying. This feedback also allows you to clear up any misinterpretations in your processing. Don’t interrupt when providing feedback. Wait for natural breaks in the conversation and for cues from the speaker, such as “Does that make sense?” Ask questions at appropriate times to draw out what the speaker might not have said otherwise. Pay attention to the speaker’s mannerisms and tone, and what they might mean. Consider the context within which the message is delivered and observe what is not said. Meaning is not always openly expressed. [4] X Research source For example, if someone is being rude to you at work, they might actually be feeling insecure, unsafe, and invalidated. [5] X Expert Source Jennifer ClarkLife Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020. Don’t fill silences simply to avoid them. Give the person time to think through what he or she is thinking and wants to say. Be open-minded to messages that you do not agree with (e. g. , prejudicial comments and opposing viewpoints). Allow the speaker to fully explain him or herself. Seek to understand and interpret a message’s meaning by using the cues you’ve been paying attention to and by drawing on your experiences. Make a conscious and active effort to remember what’s said. Retaining information is necessary for assessing its relationship to other aspects of the conversation – in the moment. It’s also needed to later process the information, which alone can alter your perception and handling of related situations. [6] X Research source
Happiness is exhibited by a raising or lowering of the corners of the mouth. Sadness is shown by a lowering of the corners of the mouth and by the raising of the inner portions of one’s eyebrows. Surprise can be seen when eyebrows arch, eyes open wide to expose more white area, and when the jaw drops slightly. Fear is revealed through the raising of eyebrows, when eyes open after being shut or narrowed, and when the mouth opens slightly. Disgust is displayed when the upper lip raises, the bridge of the nose wrinkles, and cheeks raise. Anger exhibits itself when eyebrows lower, lips press together firmly, and eyes bulge.
Eye movements in any direction increase when a person is recalling information. Our eye movements stop when something interests us. We also avert our gaze when thinking through something, such as the answer to a question. And our eyes stop moving when we’re trying to shut out distractions and focus. Eyes move from left to right (or vice versa) when we are either problem-solving or processing and recalling information. And the harder the problem the more your eyes move. [11] X Research source [12] X Research source Eyes blink at a normal rate of 6-8 times per minute. When a person is under stress, that number rises dramatically. Raised eyebrows not only show fear but also genuine interest in a topic. Furrowed eyebrows signal confusion. [13] X Research source
Natural, spontaneous smiles appear gradually, last briefly and are shown repetitively. Genuine delight is expressed by a series of short smile “bursts” and creases that form at the corners of the eyes. Fake smiles are about 10 times larger than natural, spontaneous ones. They also appear suddenly, last longer than a natural smile, and disappear abruptly. [15] X Research source
Hiding your hands, like in your pockets or behind your back, can indicate deceit. Crossing your arms doesn’t always indicate anger, but it can be a defensive posture. It can also mean you feel uneasy with the other person. [19] X Research source
Adopting postures similar to others tends to increase group or interpersonal rapport. It tells others you are open to their thoughts. Standing with your legs wide apart is either a traditional stance for those in positions of power or a dominating position. [21] X Research source A slumped posture indicates boredom, alienation or feeling ashamed. An upright posture asserts confidence, but it also can exude hostility or a sense of uprightness.
The famous psychotherapist, Carl Jung, said that all people use intuition as one of the four ways we function in life. The other three are feeling, thinking and sensing. This makes intuition distinct and not determined by the others. [23] X Research source Even though many people dismiss intuition as being either nonsense or luck, scientists are now saying it’s a very real ability that’s been identified in lab settings and on bran scans. [24] X Research source
Often those who are very intuitive are also particularly people-focused. They are more easily able to sense what others are feeling. They’re generally more emotionally oriented than analytical. They frequently make decisions quickly and efficiently. They’re able to do this because they use past experiences and emotions to guide them. Women are often more intuitive than men. [citation needed] This could be the result of an evolutionary process that’s made women particularly conscious of human responses and social stimuli. And there is evidence that some people can go a step beyond what’s even normal in this realm. There’s documentation of people knowing events have occurred far away, even though they have no prior knowledge of the event or factual basis to explain how they knew. [25] X Research source
Pay attention to sensations that seem to come out of the blue and have no logical explanation. Our brain’s amygdala, which generates the fight-or-flight instinct, is able to activate, process and respond to cues and information before we are consciously aware they exist. It can also process images (and initiate our response to them) that pass before our eyes so fast that we cannot even see them. Researchers believe this stems from our very ancient ancestors’ need to quickly gather and assess information if they wanted to survive. Get plenty of REM sleep. During REM, our brains problem solve, connect pieces of information and are most in tune with emotions. Before you go to sleep, write down a problem or worry you have. Think about it for a bit, and then let your brain come up with an intuitive solution during REM. Distract your conscious mind so your intuitive mind has a chance to do its work. Research shows that our intuitive mind processes information even when we’re not consciously paying attention to that information. In fact, the decisions a person makes when distracted have been shown to often be the correct ones. If you have a problem or concern, think through your options. Then stop and concentrate on something else. Go with the first solution that comes to you. [27] X Research source
Also factor in your emotions. Were they extreme when you got the gut feeling?[28] X Research source
Grey matter is a type of tissue in the Central Nervous System that processes information and triggers a sensory response to it. [31] X Research source It is believed that meditating creates more neural connections in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. This region processes sensory information, handles rational decision-making and regulates the amygdala. Teaching yourself to relax, to tune things out, and to be receptive – rather than reactive – to the moment enhances your ability to receive cues around you. [32] X Research source
Guided meditation is led by a teacher, therapist or guide who talks you through visualizing images of people, places, things and experiences that you find relaxing. Mantra meditation involves repeating a calming word, thought or phrase to prevent distracting thoughts from entering your mind. Mindfulness meditation asks that you focus on the present moment and your breathing. Observe your thoughts and emotions without judging them harshly. Qi gong combines meditation, physical movement, breathing exercises and relaxation to restore balance in your thinking. Tai chi is a form of the Chinese martial arts, but movements and postures are slow. You need to also focus on deep breathing. Transcendental meditation involves silently repeating a personal mantra – a word, sound or phrase – to get your body into a state of deep relaxation. Here your mind can strive for inner peace. Yoga is the practice of performing a series of postures and breathing exercises to create a more flexible body and a calm mind. Going from one pose to another requires concentration and balance. Therefore, the emphasis is on thinking only of the present moment. [33] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Breathe deeply and slowly through your nose. Concentrate on feeling and listening as you inhale and exhale. When your mind wanders, focus back on your breathing. Scan your body and become aware of any sensations you feel. Focus your attention on different parts of your body. Combine this with breathing exercises to relax each part of your body. Create your own mantra and repeat it throughout the day. Walk slowly, anywhere, and focus on the movement of your legs and feet. Repeat action words in your mind, such as “lifting” or “moving," as you place one foot in front of another. Pray in spoken or written form using your own words or those written by others. Read poetry or books that are sacred to you, and then reflect on the meaning of what you read. You can also listen to music or spoken words that are inspiring or relaxing. Afterward, write down your reflections or discuss them with another, if you choose. Focus on a sacred object or being and think loving, compassionate and grateful thoughts. You can also close your eyes and visualize the object or being. [34] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
