As another option, simply focus on your breath. Notice your lungs filling as you slowly inhale, then observe how you feel as you slowly exhale.
You might say to yourself, “I’m feeling angry because my coworker took credit for my work. I have a right to feel this way. ” Then, imagine that the emotion is a bird that’s flying away from you, or picture the emotion as a rock that you are throwing away.
Look at the situation from someone else’s perspective. For example, imagine how your best friend might see it. Assign positive motives to people’s words or actions. For instance, assume that your boss made your coworker the lead on a new project because your schedule is already busy. List the positives that could come out of a situation. As an example, you might think of ways the situation that’s upsetting you offers opportunities to grow or try something new. Tell yourself a different story about the situation at hand. For instance, if you are doubting your abilities after a setback at work or school, you might turn your thoughts to how you will bounce back from the setback.
For example, if your boss gives you a piece of criticism, you might distract yourself by listing off the next few tasks you want to accomplish.
Sight: describe your environment to yourself or look for everything blue. Sound: notice what you hear or listen to calming music. Touch: observe how your feet feel on the ground or feel the texture of something in your environment. Smell: pick out the scents in your environment or sniff an essential oil. Taste: sip on a cup of coffee or savor a small snack.
For example, you might go to the restroom and splash cold water on your face.
Drink a cup of your favorite tea. Call or text a friend. Look at your favorite meme. Eat a small piece of candy. Go for a brief walk. Step outside into the sunshine.
Don’t just focus on the negative criticism. Hear the positives, as well. For example, your coach might point out that you’re repeatedly making the same error during games. They aren’t trying to make you feel bad or telling you that you aren’t good. They want to you to know what to work on for next time.
Say, “I want to incorporate your feedback, but I’m unsure what you meant when you said I need to open up more. How would you suggest I do that?”
In some cases, seeing the criticism from the other person’s perspective can also help you realize that they aren’t attacking you. Being told that you need to improve on something can really hurt, but if no one ever gives you criticism, you’ll never grow. Are they speaking from a positive place? If so, think about how you can use their criticisms to improve. If you think they’re speaking from a negative place, such as out of jealousy, you might decide their criticisms aren’t valid for you.
When you notice a negative thought, acknowledge it. Then, turn it into something positive. For example, after a presentation you might tell yourself, “I’m no good at public speaking. ” You can replace this thought with, “Every speech I give gets better, and I’m proud of my progress. ”
Make a list of your strengths. Do something each day that allows you to be successful. Celebrate your daily accomplishments, no matter how small. Recognize your past achievements. Notice your efforts, not just the results.
It’s normal for you and your partner to do things out of love. However, you can’t and shouldn’t try to do everything for them. Don’t expect someone to notice what you need. If you’re feeling unfulfilled, speak up.
Don’t take things personally. People are usually focused on their own issues and aren’t thinking about you.
You might say, “You’ve seemed really distant lately. Are you comfortable talking about it?”
Ask yourself if the feelings hold any truth. List other possible explanations for the reason you feel jealous or rejected. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings and get their opinion. Consider where the feeling might be coming from. Have you been cheated on? Is there any reason to not trust your partner? Ask yourself what you need from your partner in order to trust them. Talk to your partner about these needs.
Be direct when telling them what you need. For example, tell them if you need time to yourself or need for them to spend more time with you. Tell your partner what you can and cannot do for them. For instance, you might be willing to cook dinner every night but want them to clean the kitchen. Set communication boundaries if you need to. For example, you might put your phone on silent during your self-care time or when you go to bed.
Better developed intuition. Awareness of the world around you. Empathy for others. Passion for life, your beliefs, or your career. Creativity. Appreciation for beauty, nature, and the arts.
Replace your triggers with things that make you feel positive. For example, let’s say watching the morning news makes you feel anxious for the next several hours. Instead of watching the news, you might listen to a podcast about living your best life.
For example, you might carry a protein bar with you to help you control your hunger. As another option, you might munch on some trail mix or eat a small container of yogurt.
Walk around your neighborhood or the park. Swim laps or do a water workout. Take an aerobics class. Do yoga. Take a dance class. Do a video workout.
Engage in your hobbies. Journal. Talk to someone you love. Spend time with your pet. Read a book. Do something creative. Soak in a bathtub. Meditate for at least 5 minutes. Spend time outside.
Avoid caffeine after noon. Relax for 1 to 2 hours before bed. Cut off screens at least 1 hour before bed. Turn down your thermostat to make your bedroom cool. Choose comfortable bed linens. Make sure your bedroom is completely dark.
You can find a therapist online.
