You can still be realistic while being positive. You don’t have to ignore negative aspects, just don’t focus exclusively on them. It’s okay to have bad days. Forgive yourself on days when you are feeling down and negative. Having a positive attitude can improve your life in many ways!
Consider that their actions in that one moment may be driven by a circumstance you don’t understand. For example, they may have stolen the lunch money because they haven’t had a meal in 2 days.
For example, you might catch yourself thinking, “That girl needs to lose some weight. ” Challenge that thought, asking yourself why it’s your business. Then say something nice that you noticed, such as, “You have a beautiful smile!”
For example, a person you consider to be too needy may have grown up without a supportive parent. Similarly, a person that you believe has not applied themselves enough academically may have prioritized earning money to help support their family.
Casually mention a few topics until you find something that you can both talk about and be interested in. This will help you realize that people aren’t so different from you.
If you feel tempted to say something negative about someone, take a deep breath. Instead, wish them all of the luck you’ve had in life.
Compassion is also one key to happiness. If you want to be a more compassionate person, then you have to have positive feelings toward people and the world.
For example, you may see someone cut the line at the lunch counter. Instead of judging them to be a rude person, consider if they might have a pressing appointment or have a health issue.
Use a different mode of transportation to get to work. Try a cuisine that you’ve never sampled. See a movie with subtitles. Go to a religious service outside of your belief system. Do something that scares you. Stand on top of a tall building, go mountain climbing, or eat raw fish.
You don’t have to recruit friends of a variety of backgrounds, but you should make an effort to get to know more people who aren’t exactly like you. You’ll only grow from the experience. Befriending someone you always thought you had nothing in common with can help you be more understanding and open-minded. Let your friends know that you’re interested in attending events with them, if they’d like to invite you. Say, “It’s so cool that your family moved here from Japan. I’m really interested in Japanese culture, so I’d love it if you let me know when public events are happening. ”
For example, attend a poetry reading, salsa dancing class, or political rally. Talk to the other people there and try to get to know them. If you feel tempted to judge them, remember how you would feel if they were judging you, especially since you’re not normally a part of their scene.
You can save money when traveling by staying in hostels. Make a goal of traveling at least once a year. This will take you out of your comfort zone and will expose you to a variety of people. You can also try armchair traveling. Pick up a travel book about a faraway location and immerse yourself. Take it further by watching a movie based in that location.
Ask your friend to include you in a special event, such as a cultural activity or religious service. However, don’t push them to include you if they aren’t comfortable doing so.
For example, a person from another culture may be able to share knowledge about their practices with you. Similarly, a person who has a talent for art may be able to show you a new skill. Pay it forward and share something from yourself as well. Be the first to open up and share.
If you want to get to know a person for real, then you have to learn more about where they’re coming from. You might ask questions like these: Do you have siblings? Where are you from? What are you studying? How do you earn a living? What do you enjoy doing on the weekend? Don’t press the person to answer your questions. However, showing an interest in them may make them want to open up.
The next time you engage in a debate, remember that the other person may also have a valid opinion. Focus on sharing your perspective without trying to change people’s mind. Remember that most situations are complicated and can’t be judged on what is “right” and “wrong” – there are many shades of gray.
Keep in mind that people have their own motives for sharing gossip or negative opinions. For example, a person may talk bad about someone because of jealousy, or they may share concerns about a foreign concept out of fear. Think about times that you’ve had gossip spread about you. Would you want people judging you based on this?
For example, don’t assume that someone who has a lot of tattoos and piercings can’t also hold a professional job. The next time you go out, study yourself in the mirror. What would people think of you based on your appearance on this one day? How would they be right or wrong?
For example, don’t refer to people as Goths, Nerds, Jocks, etc.
Accept people on their own terms. Would it be fair for the person to judge you based on talking to you for five minutes? How much could the person really learn about you in such a short amount of time?
For example, the person may have been having a bad day when you met. Similarly, shy people may at first seem distant or stuck-up.
The next time you open your mouth to say something negative about someone, flip it around and say something positive. Instead of saying, “Did you hear that Annie hooked up with Jason last night?” say, “Did you know that Annie is an amazing artist? You should see one of her paintings sometime!” Think about how much better you’ll feel about spreading goodwill.