Are you always the one to say “I love you” first? Do you generally have to be the one to suggest that the two of you spend time together? Are you usually the one doing sweet things for your significant other, while she rarely seems to think of you?
Take care of your needs and wants. It can be easy to put your partner’s desires before your own. Take care of yourself like you take care of your mate. Spend time away from your partner developing your own interests. Make sure you are loving and respecting yourself.
Talk to your partner about your relationship boundaries. Let them know where the line is before he crosses it. [5] X Research source James M Sama. Personal Development Coach. Consider what you will do if they ignore your boundaries. Think about how you will handle it.
If your partner is not willing to put forth the effort, ask yourself if this is what you really want from a relationship and if it’s healthy for your own wellbeing. You may love your partner, but you deserve to be loved and supported too. You may need to end the relationship to find someone who will give you the love and attention you deserve. Sometimes, you might really like a person—but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re compatible together. [6] X Research source James M Sama. Personal Development Coach.
If you don’t normally like football, then don’t sit through a game just because your love interest mentions that she likes it. Don’t compromise your values or beliefs to get her to love you. Doing the things that you know and feel are right will make you feel good about yourself. Know that if someone loves you, she would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.
If your love is a friend, you might try saying, “I really value our friendship and don’t want to lose it, but I also want you to know that I love you. ” If you still love your ex, then try saying, “Even though we had problems, I still love you. ”
If you don’t have a relationship with this person — this is someone you admire from afar and have never (or barely) interacted with her — then you are experiencing an infatuation, and not love. Do you really know this person, or do you just know about her? Have you talked with her, gotten to know what she likes, and really seen her personality? Or do you love your perception of her? You can’t truly be in love with someone you don’t actually know. If she asks you to leave her alone, then respect her wishes and leave her alone. Don’t contact her repeatedly. Stick to your normal level of contact. Don’t follow her around or give her unwanted gifts. Don’t troll her social media pages.
For example, If your love interest is in a long-term relationship and has told you he doesn’t love you, then don’t pretend he just needs to get to know you better. It will just hurt you in the long-run. If your crush doesn’t know that you love him, then be honest with yourself that this isn’t one-sided love. It could simply be a lack of communication between you two. If you love your ex, be honest with yourself that there might be good reasons why aren’t together. Think about why you broke up and if this is really the right person for you.
Are there big warning signs that you are overlooking? Is this person mean to you or others? Does she cheat on her current love? Is this someone that you know well, like a friend, and accept both the good and bad about her?
For example, is this a pattern for you?[10] X Research source Do you fall in love easily or just love being in love, regardless of whether it could really work out or not? Is the person sending you signs that he might love you also? Is he keeping you hanging? Is this your ex and you still want to be together?
Think honestly about how you will handle it if your love interests tell you she loves you, too. Consider how you will take it if she tells you that she will never love you. Think about how long you can honestly be happy while you wait for her to love you.
Consider whether you want to keep loving this person even though he doesn’t love you. If this will make you happy, then accept that it won’t be easy but that you will make the best of it. Think about whether you will be happier if you move on and allow yourself the opportunity to love someone else and be loved in return. Don’t limit yourself by thinking this is the only person you will ever love. Someone else will come along for you to love and to love you in return. [13] X Research source
Keep a journal or list of reasons why you are lovable. Update it or read it at least daily. Especially if your love doesn’t know you, remind yourself that you’ve given her no reason not to love you. Remember that loving yourself is the first and most important step in getting anyone else to love you.
Your interests and hobbies are also what could make you interesting to your love. You could end up doing something that makes your love look at you in a positive new light. For example, if you play tennis, then keep practicing to get better and better. Develop new interests. Some research suggests that the same areas of the brain that control your feelings of love control creativity. [17] X Research source So put this extra creativity to good use and learn some new skills or talents.
Talk to them about your feelings and get their opinion on the situation. Talk about things other than your love interest. Your friends want to hear about the rest of your amazing life, too. Trust them to let you know if your feelings are getting out of hand.
