Ease your anxieties. Think about anything you may be worried about–your future, your family, or your career–and try to minimize your anxieties about all aspects of your life. A healthy amount of stress is normal, but if you’re obsessing too much about what can go wrong, you won’t be able to think in the moment, and the ladies will know you have too much on your mind. Address your flaws. Be aware of your shortcomings, and work to improve them. Are you a bad listener, disorganized, or too easily distracted? Make a plan to work on improving these characteristics little by little. Nobody’s perfect, but everyone can improve. Think positive. When you walk into a room, think of the three things you like most about yourself instead of the three things you want to work on. If you think positive about yourself, the ladies will follow.
If you feel that a girl is getting too close to you, pull away. If a girl is initiating deep conversations about your personal lives, wanting to move in with you, or plan a romantic vacation, then she definitely wants to be your girlfriend, and you should move on. Keep things light. Enjoy a woman’s company, but don’t let her make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Focus on having a good time both out in the world and in the bedroom, and change the topic when things get too deep. Don’t think mushy thoughts. When you see a potential conquest, you should be thinking about how much fun you’ll having dancing, making out, or hooking up–not what your grandkids would look like. Think cool, and the rest will follow. If you’ve really found the right girl, it may be time to rethink your lifestyle. Even a true player can fall a victim to love, and if you’ve found a girl who makes you feel like she really is the only girl in the world and the person you want to spend all of your time with, then don’t give her up. This is rare in the life of the true player, but if you really can’t control how you feel, it may be worth it to tell the other ladies you’re off the market.
Have a game plan for your night. If you’re out at a club, think of your next location. Will you be taking the lady to more intimate bar, to your crib, or to a friend’s fancy after party? Before you pick the girl, plan your moves for the night, so you don’t waste your time figuring out what to do. Have a plan for your weekends. You may have just finished saying goodbye to your latest girl, but what are you doing the next night? Unless you want to spend it sitting alone in your basement and checking your phone, you should already have a lady lined up.
Wear a nice long-sleeved button down shirt over a tight tank top. The ladies will want to get you down to your tight shirt so they can feel your muscles. Always wear shirts that hint at or display your killer biceps. Wear pants that are a little loose so they can hang low. Show the ladies just a hint of your boxers, and find excuses to lift up your shirt so they can see your rock hard abs. Once they see your happy trail, they’ll want to follow it all the way down. Have smart shoes. Whether you’re out at a fancy restaurant or wearing more casual sneakers at the gym, make it clear that your shoes are brand-new and expensive. The ladies will think you’ll shell out the same amount of cash that you spent on your shoes on your fancy dates. Wear a few key accessories. Have a fun wallet, a big gold chain, and flashy jewelry. You are not trying to be subtle, player. Have a leather belt with a flashy buckle, so the ladies are already looking in the right direction.
Develop your cardio. Start by running for just one or two miles, but learn to run for at least five miles without getting winded. You won’t be much of a Don Juan if you’re wheezing while you leading your latest conquest up a staircase. Build muscle. Do whatever you can to have rock-hard abs, impeccable pecs, and strong shoulders. Hit up the bench press at the gym, or try a sport that will help build muscle, like boxing or basketball. Eat right. If you’re taking a lady on a dinner date, you can eat something manly like a juicy steak, but when you’re on your own, try to eat a healthy balance of fruits, veggies, proteins, and carbs. Eating the right foods, especially proteins, can help you burn fat and build muscle.
Make killer eye contact. When you’re talking to a lady, look deep into her eyes, like you could jump right into them. This will make her blush and will easily turn her on. Make her feel like the only girl not only in the room, but in the world. Lean in closely when you talk. When you talk to girl who is obviously into you, lean in real close, like you could kiss her at any moment. This will leave her wanting more. Face your arms and body in her direction. Don’t cross your arms, or turn your legs away from her. Everything about your body should say, “Hey baby, I’m ready. "
Wear a powerful, manly cologne. That will make the ladies want to faint in your arms. Shower and wash your hair at least once a day. Use a manly body wash and shampoo to leave the ladies swooning. Use hair gel. Give your hair an extra kick with some gel–the ladies will want to run their fingers through it. Always have fresh breath. You’ll need it for close-talking. Have a fresh face. Shave off your facial hair, and run your hands over your face. Turn to your girl and say, “Feel how smooth that is, girl. "
Keep it clean. Since you can bring home a lady at the blink of any eye, you should always keep fresh sheets, clean counters, and most importantly–a spotless bathroom. If your lady is grossed out as soon as she walks into your place, she’ll be calling for a cab before you can make your first move. Always have reinforcements. Stock your home with bottles of wine and sexy snacks like grapes or strawberries. Keep it sleek. Leather couches, shiny lamps, and a flat-screen TV will make your lady feel at home in your love nest. If you can’t afford to have a killer bachelor pad, focus on keeping your place clean.
Look for a girl who is laughing, obviously having fun, and looking to have a good time. Don’t talk to anyone who is obviously bored, checking her phone, or just looking around for something better to do. A girl like that is a soft target for a reason, and you want someone who is worth impressing. Avoid ladies who are looking for a husband. Many of the ladies you approach will be looking for more than a fling. Any girl who mentions having you meet her parents, wanting to settle down, or talks about how many times she’s been a bridesmaid probably doesn’t want to be your tenth favorite girl. Let this lady find her soul mate, and don’t waste your time–or hers. Avoid girls who are obviously taken. If you spot a hottie who is barely interested in some guy who is trying to make a move on her, then go for it. But if a lady is batting eyes at her boyfriend or suitor, unless you’re really up for the challenge, find someone who is still fun but not so clearly off-limits.
Have a light opening. Start off by teasing her or just asking what she’d like to drink. Make her laugh and show that you’re a person worth talking to. Tell her that she’s special. Say something like, “There’s something different about you. " Make her feel like she really stands out, and that you understand that there is something extra unique about her. Compliment her. Don’t overdo it, but tell her at least three things you like about her, whether it’s her eyes, her dance moves, or her laugh. You don’t have to say anything deep–just let her know that you appreciate who she is and want to get to know her.
Hold doors for people, help her put on her jacket, and listen closely to what she wants.
If you get turned down right off the bat, give her a polite nod and say “All right. Have a good night. " Then look for a more receptive woman. If she doesn’t want to take things up past a certain level, accept her decision and cool things down. Stay casual and don’t pressure her.
Be casual. Just say something like, “You wanna get out of here?” Or, “How about we go somewhere where we can really talk?” Put the moves on. Once you get your lady alone, touch her gently, or ask if you can take off her coat. Seduce her as quickly as you can, as long as she’s into it.
Give your lady a massage. Massage her shoulders, her lower back, or even her feet, to show that you know how to touch her body. Kiss with passion. Don’t shove your tongue in your lady’s mouth–start with a gentle kiss and work your way toward an all-out makeout. Once you’re in bed, take your time. Give your girl enough time to be ready for sex. Tease her, bite her gently, or do whatever you need to do to turn her on. Just don’t rush into sex because that can just be painful and definitely not hot. When it’s over, be courteous. You don’t have to spend hours cuddling in bed once the deed is done, but spending some time with your lady, gently kissing her, or letting her spend the night, will make her feel more special than if you instantly jump in the shower once your passion has run its course.
Be vague about when you’ll see her again. Tell her you’ll see her around. Don’t try to set up a dinner date for the following week–that’s not how players roll. Be a gentleman. Help her put her coat on and walk her to the door or to her car. Make a good last impression so she doesn’t think you’re completely sleazy. Don’t overdo it with your flattery. Tell her you had a great time, but don’t tell her you had the best night of your life. Be real and don’t make her think you’re something you’re not. End on a good note. As you say goodbye, make her laugh, give her a gentle kiss, or remind her of something from the night before. Make sure she wants to see you again–it’s up to you to decide if you want to see her again or to move on. If you do want to see her again, give it a few days before you check in. Play on, player!
If you’re looking for deep emotional connections, don’t be a player. If you want to find someone to settle down with, don’t be a player. If you don’t feel comfortable letting people down, don’t be a player.
If you’d rather sit in and watch Netflix, don’t be a player. If you’d rather meet the gang at your favorite bar each weekend, don’t be a player. If you want the comfort and ease of long-term relationships, don’t be a player.
If you’d rather not break up with people, don’t be a player. If you know you struggle with confrontation, don’t be a player. If you feel bad about sleeping with someone and leaving the next morning, don’t be a player.
If you’re uncomfortable keeping multiple relationships going, don’t be a player. If you hate managing relationships, texting, and keeping secrets, don’t be a player. If you have a moral or ethical problem with polyamory, don’t be a player.
