First, understand why you are feeling this way. Answer three questions: what happened before, how does it feel in your body, and how would you label the feeling? Next, decide how you can express this feeling without hurting yourself or others. You might write in a journal, burn off some steam by exercising or playing sports, or listen to some music that reflects your emotions. [1] X Research source
Step up to the plate and take full responsibility when you make a mistake. Do this by immediately admitting your wrongdoing. This can be as simple as saying “My bad” or “That was my mistake. ” If you hurt someone, apologize. Then, figure out how you can make amends. For instance, if you left the back door open and your cat got out, admit it. You might say, “I’m sorry. I left the back door open. I’ll go ask the neighbors if they have seen the cat. ”
To prevent impulse reactions, pause before making decisions or taking any action. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself, “what is my conscience saying? Will this harm me, or anyone else? How would I feel if someone did this to me, or how will I feel about myself later, if I do this?” For example, a friend asks if you want to cut class. You might pause and breathe deeply. Think about why you would do this—maybe you just want to hang out. Think about what might happen if you do it: you might get caught and get in trouble with the school and your parents. Going through this process each time you make a choice will help you make smarter decisions.
At the end of each day, jot down in a notebook three things that went well for you that day. Spend a few moments thinking about these positive events or outcomes. Try to draw in good feelings about them.
It’s normal for teens to want to push back against authority sometimes. If you want to discuss rules with authority figures, argue your case in a respectful manner. That way, the adult is more likely to listen. [4] X Research source For example, you might say, “Mom and Dad, I’m fifteen now and I think I deserve a later curfew. I always come home on time and I never get into trouble. What do you say?”
For example, if your friends have invited you to a sleepover but you already agreed to babysit your younger siblings that night, politely turn your friends down. It might be hard, but being mature means sticking to your commitments and showing you can be trusted to follow through.
Many rules of etiquette may already have been explained to you. However, you can ask your parents or other adults, “How can I show good manners?” to learn more.
Keep your room tidy by tossing dirty clothes in the laundry and putting away clean clothes in drawers or in the closet. Make your bed each morning immediately after you get up. Place your book bag on a hook behind the door to keep it off the floor. Line up shoes under your bed or on shelves in your closet so you and your parents don’t trip over them. Make it easier to tidy by setting a timer for 20 minutes and doing a deep-clean of your room once a day. Play some music to make the time go faster. [8] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases Health information from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, a division of the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
When you learn about current events, discuss them with your parents or other adults. You might say, “What do you think about the president’s new bill, Dad?” Look at online sources like CNN Student News, BBC News, and Smithsonian Tween Tribune. Read the newspaper in the mornings and check out a few academic journals from the library on topics you’re interested in.
Go beyond the reading assignments needed for school. To enjoy the habit of reading, choose books that relate to your interests, such as airplanes or ancient Egypt.
A great way to build critical thinking skills is by playing board games. Schedule a game night with your family and/or closest pals. Good board game options include Apples to Apples and Scattergories. [12] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source
If you want to learn appropriate ways to engage in conversation with others, ask your parents to role-play communication with you.
A good rule-of-thumb is to listen to understand rather than listening to reply. Try to figure out what the other person is trying to say. Don’t interrupt or rush to get your message across. Fully hear them out. Then, try to summarize what you think they said. For instance, your mom says, “I’ll be out of town this weekend and I’m concerned about leaving you at home alone. I think you should try to stay with the Woodards. ” You might respond, “I can see you are worried about me being here by myself. I agree. I will see if Pat’s parents don’t mind me staying over. ”
