Suggest an alternative and attach praise to the alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like clothing they are trying on, let them know that it might work but you think the blue one is your favorite so far because it matches their eyes. It might not always be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you’ll both be better off.
Tell your partner what you think, and don’t assume they can read your mind. When you think they look nice, tell them. When you are thinking you are lucky to have them, tell them. Just like you, they’ll like hearing they’re valued. Make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood (e. g. , a bad day at work), they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood. This way you will not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky person, and your partner will know that you aren’t mad at them.
Contribute to housework by doing things like washing dishes, vacuuming, and dusting. Your partner will see that you feel you have a vested interest in the home you share and that you take pride in creating a polished environment for both of you to enjoy.
For example, if your partner finds out that you criticized them behind their back, don’t make an excuse or deny what happened. Say something like, “It’s true that I said those things about you, and I’m sorry. Next time I’m upset by something you’ve done, I’ll bring it up with you first. "
If your partner feels you’re giving them the cold shoulder, they may get worried, especially when it happens without any explanation from you. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say “I’m feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?”
The way you naturally act towards your partner should subtly validate them as a person, even when you do not understand or agree with them. If you show contempt in front of your child(ren), your child(ren) will then feel that is an appropriate way to treat your partner.
For example, if you know your partner is cooking dinner at home and a work friend asks you to join them for a quick happy hour, say something like, “I’ll join you next time, but I know my partner wanted me to be home for dinner tonight. "
If you have done something to hurt them, even if you didn’t mean to, tell them you are sorry and show them affection. This must be sincere! There’s nothing worse than an “I’m sorry” that is put on or phony.
Help out; cook their favorite food or make their favorite drink. Help with the kids and help around the house (like doing dishes).
If your partner needs you to give them compliments, learn to master the art of compliments. If they need you to come home on time, be on time. And, if you know that you are going to be late coming home, call them and let them know. If your partner needs you to help the children with homework, spend time with the family instead of going out with your friend.
For example, treat your partner like they’re single, and you’re trying to earn their affection and trust. The opposite of being romanced is being taken for granted. No one wants to feel like they’ve already been “caught” and it’s over and done with. There are millions of ways to say “I love you” and “I’m lucky to have you. " Buy flowers, cook them a meal, or surprise them with a quick weekend vacation. You might also try re-creating special moments from the early days in your relationship, like revisiting the restaurant where you had your first date.
Talk about sex, both what’s been working well for the two of you and what hasn’t. Intimacy (emotional and physical closeness) is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. Sex is even more fun when you build anticipation. Drop a few hints in your partner’s ear early in the day, so that you can both look forward to getting together for some intimate moments after work.
The gift doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Buying a book you know they will like or a CD by their favorite band is a nice gesture.
