Giving off a positive vibe from the start will make other people more likely to want to get to know you and spend time around you. To keep your body language relaxed, your arms should be unfolded, your shoulders should be back but not stiff, and you might lean back slightly. Imagine opening up your body, rather than folding yourself inwards and being closed off. Make sure your body language isn’t coming off as flirtatious if you only want to be friends.
Start small. Try just saying, “Hey!” when you pass him in the hall or see him standing with a group of mutual acquaintances, or introduce yourself and offer a handshake. Once you feel comfortable, you can work up to longer conversations. Start with something that both of you are interested in and work your way up to sharing personal details.
Try asking him questions like, “Where do you like to hang out on the weekends?” Other topics you could ask him about include what kind of movies he likes, whether he has any pets (and follow-up questions about the pets if he has any), and what kind of games or sports he likes.
For example, if your friend says he likes a certain band or a sport, don’t feel obligated to pretend you like it too. Don’t hide things about yourself because you’re afraid your friend will judge you, either. Even if he’s not into your collection of antique coins, he’ll most likely appreciate that you have unique interests.
If you and your friends have a Saturday video game session, ask him if he wants to come by! If he mentions wanting to see a certain movie that you want to see too, invite him to go with you to see it.
Being dependable will also show him that you are trustworthy, which most guys really appreciate.
When you’re not hanging out together, text him funny memes or an inside joke between the two of you. If the two of you are always joking that your dog looks like a cow, for instance, edit a picture of your dog so it looks he’s in front of a barn and add a funny caption like, “He finally admitted he’s been undercover this whole time!”
Try saying something like, “You seem kind of down today, wanna talk about it?” You could also say something along the lines of, “I know you’re feeling nervous about finals next week. Let’s go get some ice cream and make a study plan. "
Examples of activities you could share include going to a museum, fixing your bike, or building a cool treehouse. Other things you might try could be checking out a farmer’s market, going to the bookstore, or going to a concert.
For instance, if he plays sports, you might say, “Nobody out there plays as hard as you when the game is on the line. " Another example could be saying something like, “Do you have any recommendations for a new band to listen to? You always know the best music. " You don’t have to go overboard with this; just a little comment now and then will go a long way.
If you think your friend is in danger of hurting himself or someone else or is in serious trouble, talk to someone you trust.
If you hear someone bad-mouthing your friend, try saying something like, “He’s actually a really nice guy, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. "
If your guy friend invites you to go to church with him, for instance, consider taking him up on the offer even if you normally don’t like to get up early on weekends. You don’t have to convert to his faith, but might enjoy yourself and meet some new people. If nothing else, you’ll learn more about your friend.
For an even bigger way to celebrate, give your pal a shout-out on social media—but ask him if it’s okay first, of course.
While it can be fun to be unpredictable, try to make sure your plans don’t cause your friend to miss work or school since getting into trouble might make him want to hang out with you less often.
You don’t have to gush to him about how it was the greatest time you ever had. Just a quick text like, “Next time, let’s get ice cream AFTER we ride go-karts” will send the message that you want to hang out again.
Your friend chose his dating partner for a reason. You should never make him feel like he has to choose between his friendship and the person he dates. If you can’t make friends with your pal’s partner, at least try to be civil. Invite the couple to hang out at group events, where you won’t have to interact as closely with anyone you dislike.
For example, if your friend mentions missing his grandfather who passed away, give him a chance to speak his mind, and share your own thoughts on the subject if you have any. Then, when you feel the moment has passed, turn the conversation back towards something that happened earlier, or the plans you have for the rest of the day.
For instance, if he always wears wrinkled clothes or you think he spends too much money on frivolous things, you should probably keep it to yourself. If you’re very close friends with someone, it can sometimes be acceptable to let them know when you think they are making a mistake or handling a situation the wrong way, but this should be done very sparingly. If you decide you don’t like someone else’s character traits, you may decide you don’t want to be their friend at all.
If your friend does something thoughtless or says something that hurts your feelings, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Your friend may have been having a bad day, or he might have just been feeling frustrated. Try to move past it instead of holding on to hurt feelings. If you notice a pattern of another person making you feel bad or taking advantage of you, it’s okay to end the friendship.
Don’t expect your new friend to spend all of his time with you or stop hanging out with his other friends just because you’re in the picture. Similarly, you shouldn’t neglect your old friends just because you have a new friend.
