Job interviews, joining a new social group, or being introduced to a friends or coworkers family are good examples of when it’s best to keep strong opinions to yourself until you know the parties better.
You will usually only need to be extra careful in your word choice the first few meetings. After you become more comfortable with the members, you will likely fall into a natural feeling communication pattern.
Neither of you will likely be greatly swayed by the argument, so you don’t want to have damaged the relationship by using abusive language. Focus on using the word I, rather than you, to have an amicable disagreement.
If it is very important to you to share your opinion, even in these circumstances, consider forming a bond with a single member. You can then have a fair exchange between the two of you. If you do address the rest of the group at some later time, you’ll know you have at least one supporter.
If you start to notice you are the one becoming tense, relax your jaw. Remind yourself this is just a conversation, and there is no need to get worked up.
This is a good time to do some listening. Letting to the other person talk and helping them feel understood will dissipate the tension.
Avoid using sarcasm and aggressive language on your part. This will only make any perceived offense worse.
Try listening with the intent to be able to fully and fairly explain the other person’s views. This may help you pay attention to what he or she means to convey.
Encourage others to ask you challenging questions as well. This will help clarify your belief for yourself, as well as others.
To really get in the spirit of this, you can try switching sides and expressing each other’s opinion. This will give you a better understand of both parties’ beliefs.
If you’ve only just met a person but suspect he or she is highly opinionated consider avoiding religion and politics. [9] X Research source Both subjects are highly controversial, so it’s a pretty good bet the person has strong opinions about one or both.
Avoid making offensive or generally negative statements, like “it would be stupid to…” or “only an idiot would…” These kinds of statements are sure to incite someone with who obviously feels differently than you do.
Flattery is a great way to decrease the intensity of a person discussing a topic passionately. Try saying “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I just noticed your shoes are fantastic. Where did you get them?”
