For example, with romantic love, you like being around the person, but you are also physically attracted to the person and feel aroused by them. Romantic love is a step further than just friendship, which may be considered platonic love.
When you write, are you constantly referring to the person? Do you mention feeling jealousy when this person is with another love interest? Do you find yourself worrying about your appearance or trying to put your best foot forward around them? The answers to these questions can help confirm your feelings.
If you have ever felt attracted to a person of the same gender before, that could provide support for your current feelings.
For instance, if you decide to wait 2 weeks before you say anything and your attraction only grows during that time, then you’ll have confirmation that your feelings are real.
A counselor can help you better understand the feelings you’re having. They can also offer encouragement for coming out to family and friends.
You might say, “I think I might have feelings for Andrea. This is new to me and I don’t know what to do. ” Be sure you confide in a person who is supportive and non-judgmental. Reach out to a friend who is queer. They may be able to empathize and provide useful advice.
You might ask your best friend, older sibling, or guidance counselor to act as an ally and accompany you when you break the news to your parents. When you tell your parents, be sure to communicate your feelings with certainty, so they don’t assume what you’re feeling is just a “phase. " Prepare for potential resistance from your parents. You may wish to put this off until you are certain about how you feel.
Answer these questions honestly and to the best of your ability, so they can have clarity. But, don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” or “I’d rather not say. " Your loved ones don’t have to know all the details of your journey to being same-gender attracted.
If you feel pressured by others to define yourself, simply tell them, “I’m still exploring. ”
For example, if the person often flirts with you, that’s a clear indicator that they probably like you. You might also review what you know about their sexuality: have they dated others of the same gender? Are they currently exploring their own sexuality?
You might ask, “So, have you ever thought about dating girls/guys?” or “Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same gender?” Their response to your question can serve as a lead-in to you telling them you’re attracted to them.
Telling them in a joking way could also offer them an out if they’re not interested or if they need more time to process the idea.
You might say, “I don’t know how you’re going to react, but I felt I should tell you that I really like you. I think you’re gorgeous and funny, and I’d love for us to get closer. ” You might prefer this approach over writing an email, letter, or text message, particularly if you’d rather keep your attraction private.
To help yourself react rationally to rejection, take a few deep breaths. Then, tell the person, “I appreciate your honesty. ” Even if it hurts at first, you’ll feel better with time.
